I lay beside the others, an accretion of such magnitude it shames me  that I ever presumed to keep what I love as if it were mine and not some mysterious grace that comes and goes while I wish otherwise. My last objection, your absence, I lay to rest along the banks of this river, my […]

Rain. Split a hundred heavens, heedless and headlong. Run to the one river you know; gather the pocket-sized stones. In case. Or, circle the wagons; shoulder your weapons. But, look: Defense is an act of war, too. And the enemy is never where you think. Or who. You have misconstrued everything. Everything. Still, be kind. […]

At 3, you win a talent contest. The child God made of God’s longing to dance. Then vaudeville, the Will Mastin Trio. At 7, a movie. A small boy becoming a small man flash-tapping his way out of Harlem. Shuffle ball change triple Cincinnati double time drawback stamp. At 29, you lose an eye, nearly […]

Summoned again from Central Casting you laugh in the studio commissary as we traject our waking hours. Eating; talking. Still wearing last night’s costumes. You get the joke: The play’s the thing. Wardrobe calls, make-up; the lines you speak, or not. Cameo or character; a star turn. A love scene, or hate. Murder, or redemption, […]

I have a secret relationship, one whose particulars would, in some other context, be scandalous.  As things are, we could scarcely be more different. His name is Barry, and he is long married in the traditional heterosexual way.  I am a lesbian who — caught off guard by the  right to wed — neglected to find […]

These pale nights without you scatter me like buckshot.  I would be Prometheus, hero of my ordinary days. I would wear love as the armor I learned not to need, and bring fire to every corner of this dark. In truth, I am Sisyphus on a mountain too familiar, putting my shoulder to the weight […]

  Discharge the surly tenant who has lingered too long in the room previously occupied by happiness. A guest house is not an asylum, indefinite lodging for your secret insanities. It is not a brothel, perpetual indulgence of your basest impulses. It is not assisted living, nor long-term care for your crippling inability. A guest […]

Buddhist teachings are reliably wise, sometimes cryptic and occasionally delightful. The latter category includes a practice I recently encountered that suggests my new year is going to include a lot of … cake. “Feeding the ghosts,” as described by the venerable Pema Chodron in Start Where You Are, is one of those counterintuitive practices typical of […]

  So I got up finally, with a grief worthy of you, and went home.   Just days over the threshold she cannot move quickly or carefully enough  Oh, what is that beautiful thing that just happened? on ageless legs the last word she heard with mortal ears still sounding: Come. The angels themselves weary […]