Tag Archives: spirituality

Where I wished the wrens

Where I wished the wrens the wasps the face of the nestbox wrapped like a mummy its mouth occluded saying oh oh beneath the grotesque paper mask saying where are my wrens my beauties where their perfect song? Where I wished the smooth grass the gopher’s mounds fresh each morning soft sepulchers shrouding some dank […]

Almost everything

I forgive myself almost everything being involuntarily human and thereby malignant in private dissection Of course the small sharp cruelties of childhood before empathy before I knew but nearly all the rest too being involuntarily human and thereby giving no less than I get cowardice and egoism the selfish choice the cutting word the careless […]

Ephemeral

I was mortified to learn recently from an online calculator that my life expectancy is 94.64 years. That’s just, well …  piggish. This is mostly not my fault.  I have good genes and socioeconomic privilege. I don’t understand how to smoke, so I never acquired that vice. I am hard-wired for exercise. Also, I have done what I can to […]

Unbecoming

  Suddenly I find it odd that my arms terminate in hands — these firm and meaty pads, the bony fingers extruded in opposition to the outliers, these peculiar thumbs. Who designed these naked anomalies, wrinkling and weathering with the years? Where are my clever paws, their dexterous beauty, their soft and ageless fur? A […]

Tolerance

It’s not true, what they say. God often gives you more than you can handle, then stands back and observes as you adapt.  Or perish, like the infinite others who were given more than they could handle and are no longer here to say so. God is not cruel, just curious, like a researcher whose […]

Let our complaints

You haven’t long to love this world to claim the blood washing the awakening sky to feel the wren’s song swelling your open throat that later will clench to imagine the bewildered doe leaving her speckled child there along the road where the car struck it. Now untangle the tortured skein of the life you’ve […]

Sprinkling the dead

Having been watered, they might grow. Rupture the soft lie of silk and mahogany, the sullen concrete casings, and emerge in the bardo of possibility, small imperfect seeds feeling again the tug of the sun.

Keeping busy

Not long ago, I wrote a relative in the chatty way one writes relatives, with whom meaningful conversations are apparently impossible, involving, as they might, honest emotion. She told me about the weather, and grocery shopping. I described what I had been doing, an unremarkable assortment of mostly pleasant activities: reading, writing, running, puttering about […]

The lullaby you finally hear

So wickedly prescient that foreshadowing opener Rock-a-bye baby on the treetops Rock-a-bye and you’ve scarcely said hello to the world. When the wind blows the cradle will rock gently for a time. When the bough breaks you will fall through your life down baby down cradle and all the ground some unknowable distance beneath. So […]

Catch and release

Because the hook is too cruel, I offer softer lures, chumming the surface of the rivers you love:  the cathedral light, the refuge of rocks, the small ballet of water striders walking the sky of your shimmering world. From which I might lift you for an instant to remember the iridescence of your delicate, dappled […]