Tag Archives: loss

Called

On account of darkness, called: The ball game on the unlit field; the interminable argument. The migration of hummingbirds; the crescent moon, incrementally. Dusk. The hope for something better; the search for survivors. The ovulation of hens. The play of long-ago children. The open throats of morning glories; the songs of wrens, of larks, of […]

Leaving

I hoped he was dead when I woke the next morning,  eight hours after I left him holding the hand of the next hospice volunteer. We call it “vigil:”  a bearing witness and keeping company with the actively dying. We do it for them and their loved ones —  exhausted, grieving families and friends — who are desperate […]

Anthem

Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point. –C.S.  Lewis Do not languish in the field hospital of your wounding the fetid air choking your willing lungs but crawl until you can limp limp until you can walk walk until you can march and march […]

Briefly through

  Timmy Wind blows briefly through his parents’ helpless arms less a child than an element that could not bear the heavy head the veiled light the damp and dimpled fingers the constraint of flesh where once was space the intolerable capture of his formless beauty Timmy Wind blows briefly through the life he did […]

x-ray xray of hand

Rise

Here alone am I the most vital thing if you don’t count the birds a hummingbird’s wings beat every .02 seconds that live in the canopy of trees above the headstones. I sit on a bench near the cemetery’s edge to meditate but my mind wanders neurons mediate thought in the span of a hummingbird’s […]

Spring

Persephone stirs in the world of the dead where she was not born but borne by the dark love who kissed her innocent lips who sang to her secret longing who offered in tender and devious palms glistening rubies, delight and ruin in the same shimmering seeds, blood-red. She ate, of course. Love is like […]

We gather again, broken

Near the end, if we are lucky — then or in the in-between, at an emotional way station we hoped would arrive, not knowing when — we gather again, broken. The lover and the leaver, the feckless parent, the helpless child, the endless variations of victim and perpetrator between which, here, distinctions fade in scalding light: […]

My last objection, your absence

I lay beside the others, an accretion of such magnitude it shames me  that I ever presumed to keep what I love as if it were mine and not some mysterious grace that comes and goes while I wish otherwise. My last objection, your absence, I lay to rest along the banks of this river, my […]

Brothers

These pale nights without you scatter me like buckshot.  I would be Prometheus, hero of my ordinary days. I would wear love as the armor I learned not to need, and bring fire to every corner of this dark. In truth, I am Sisyphus on a mountain too familiar, putting my shoulder to the weight […]

Mary Oliver is dazzled by heaven

  So I got up finally, with a grief worthy of you, and went home.   Just days over the threshold she cannot move quickly or carefully enough  Oh, what is that beautiful thing that just happened? on ageless legs the last word she heard with mortal ears still sounding: Come. The angels themselves weary […]