Tag Archives: humor
I add to my list of questions for God (2)
Whether I can be something different next time: Male. Straight. Dark-skinned. Not American. An ocelot. Whether I was stupidly happy all along, but felt too smart to admit it. Why all guns aren’t toys. Why all children don’t have ponies. How You made the color of Liz Taylor’s eyes. How You made purring. (Whether the […]
My cat in heaven
Not apprehending time, my old cat says she will live forever. I tell her that in the last years — — of forever, which she does not apprehend — she will need other humans, that I will have gone ahead to answer to God, right after I plug in the heated bed, prepare her favorite […]
National Squirrel Appreciation Day
Really. This gallery of images goes out to squirrels everywhere whose beauty, acrobatics, comic timing, perseverance, adaptability and fabulous tails continue to impress and delight any human with sense enough to appreciate them. Most especially, I remember Chloe, whose intelligence and charming sense of entitlement graced my life for five years and inspired this prose […]
I add to my list of questions for God
Why serial killers are handsome, and sociopaths charming, as if we don’t have enough trouble telling good from bad. Whether islands float, or go all the way down. Why baby animals are so much cuter than baby people. Related, why humans don’t have fur, which would make us more attractive as we age. Also warmer. […]
Closed captioned
(pensive orchestration) I contemplate my life. (distant music; eerie, tentative) It is dark in here. What is this place? (music intensifies) I am born, wailing like I know what I’m in for. (Baby Elephant Walk) 10 pounds, 11 ounces. (baby crying) Colic for three months. (playful orchestration) I learn to talk, walk. Nothing goes really […]
Fraternity now, and football
At the end of the rut, the bucks grow weary, great heads bowed beneath battle-worn racks, here and there a desultory joust, a soft grunt cast in diminishing wind toward indifferent does. What was it all about? Majesty tattered, they plod and limp, half-dazed as if emerging from a potent spell, speak to former rivals […]
Meteorology
I You and your hollow promises. Eager as a child on Christmas, I awaken early, craving the snow you forecast. Ninety percent chance, you said. Two to three inches. Liar. Decades of deceit; countless disappointments. Why do I still trust you? You’re no better than Lucy, promising that this time, this time, you will hold […]
My friend’s dog
Even when I am unworthy of praise, my friend’s dog greets me as if I made the world, and it is wholly good. He wonders what delight I will next create, what miracle I might yet perform. He can scarcely contain his joy at my possibility; he wriggles with my irrefutable goodness. And I had […]
Later, you will be right
or earlier, error being a matter of premature or posthumous application of an answer to a question not now present, but also a matter of laziness, the query stated without the precision necessary to make the answer fit: hand in glove, key in lock. Your only chance is now. If it happens, you won’t know […]
Meditatio Ephemera 