Tag Archives: humor

Math for seniors

Past our primes we lose our wholes and even our fractions seem improper. Once reasonable numbers become irrational; we lose any sense of absolute value. We see we will never solve for x yet always pi is endlessly available. So let us eschew the greatest common divisors, embrace our lowest common denominators. Let us eat […]

Ephemeral

I was mortified to learn recently from an online calculator that my life expectancy is 94.64 years. That’s just, well …  piggish. This is mostly not my fault.  I have good genes and socioeconomic privilege. I don’t understand how to smoke, so I never acquired that vice. I am hard-wired for exercise. Also, I have done what I can to […]

Keeping busy

Not long ago, I wrote a relative in the chatty way one writes relatives, with whom meaningful conversations are apparently impossible, involving, as they might, honest emotion. She told me about the weather, and grocery shopping. I described what I had been doing, an unremarkable assortment of mostly pleasant activities: reading, writing, running, puttering about […]

Beautiful

I work at an upscale outdoor store where we are highly trained in customer service not just because we want to sell really expensive stuff but because we genuinely like our customers and want to be helpful.  And our typical customer likes us and what we sell, too, so often we have fun with each […]

One shot

    Set-up for the “hurt man rescue” event at the recent American Public Power Association Lineworkers Rodeo,  held in Colorado Springs.

My WalMart romance

I have a secret relationship, one whose particulars would, in some other context, be scandalous.  As things are, we could scarcely be more different. His name is Barry, and he is long married in the traditional heterosexual way.  I am a lesbian who — caught off guard by the  right to wed — neglected to find […]

Rumi clarified

  Discharge the surly tenant who has lingered too long in the room previously occupied by happiness. A guest house is not an asylum, indefinite lodging for your secret insanities. It is not a brothel, perpetual indulgence of your basest impulses. It is not assisted living, nor long-term care for your crippling inability. A guest […]

Girls with beards!

We have just passed the height of catalog season, during which my mailbox was visited by the usual assortment of unwanted and thereby wasted circulars advertising Christmas deals on clothing, food and other consumables. Most of these went directly into the recycle bin, but I set aside one catalog that arrived recently, anticipating a pleasant winter night’s perusal […]

A Christmas Tale

It was love of Jesus that made my neighbor Walt a criminal. He had seen the statue countless times in twilight walks through the town cemetery. It stood near a marker high up the slope, a big stone lettered with six names – the Croffs and Mintzlers and Walt’s favorite, Olive Brown, who sounded less […]

Tradition

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